Finding Home #4: A Safe Place

When I first started this post it was all about how everybody hates me. I felt abandoned by alot of my close friends. Then I saw something on Instagram stating something along the lines of, " I asked god to get rid of my enemies, and I started losing friends." At that moment all of that hurt went flyng out the window. Now I'm not saying I was surrounded by enemies, but I do believe that not everyone in our lives are meant to stay forever.

There was this passage that I think comes from a Tyler Perry film, comparing friends to different parts of a tree. Some people are like the leaves when the wind blows they disappear. Some people are like the branches of a tree, and can seem safer until you take a step out on to a thin one and it breaks underneath you. But some people are like the roots of a tree. Sturdy and strong, those are the people you should hold on too. Those are the ones you can always count on.

I also think you should be one of those people in your own life that's like a root. In my own experience if I can be a safe place for myself I can be a much better safe place, or root, for others.

Finding Home #3: Borrowed + Found

My "home" right now is in a blocked off part of somebodies living room. I have made it beautiful with borrowed and found pieces of furniture. I have made a small coffee table by covering a plastic bin with cloth and placing the top part of a broken wooden door on top. On that table there is a terrarium I made myself, along side a cacti plant. There are vases with dried flowers in them, and glass jars filled with a water to hold floating tea lights. Behind that are my clothes, hung on a clothing rack. To the right is a big mirror on top of a trunk that my mom passed on to me. In front of the mirror are two small statues that I love so much, Buddha and Ganesha. Continuing to the right of the room there's a small cabinet that holds my folded clothes. Then there's me on a couch. From that couch I stare out two windows that face a building.

 

This is my home...and when its quiet, with just me in it, it is safe.....safe as kittens.

Finding Home # 2: Safe and Sound

I finished my last post with a question. "What does "home" mean to you?"

Home is being free

to be nude

to be happy

to be sad

to be angry.

Home is knowing you'll be able to sleep with out fear or interuption.

Home is that feeling that you get when you walk through your front door.

Home is knowing your safe

to be yourself,

to feel whatever it is you were putting off feeling when you weren't home.

Home is....wide and tall, and small and cozy.

This is what home means to me.

New Project: Finding Home

"Home is a feeling, not a place."

 

    Have you ever met a world traveler? Someone whose travelled there whole life? Someone who feels like the road is home? Did you ever notice that they never seem out of place? How they seem to be able to set up camp anywhere, and be perfectly settled and at home.

 

   Do you know anyone who lives on there bare necessities/ How many times have you thought they where crazy? Or that maybe its okay for them, but you could never do it? Have you ever noticed how much happier they seem from everyone else you know....from you?

 

I've never felt that safe feeling that comes with being at home. Most times I'll be at out and counting the minutes until I can get home. But once I get there all I want to do is run back out the door. I can never figure out why I wanted to be in this place, or why it's called home. It could actually be anywhere. It's like...I'm always tittering on the edge of belonging.

 

"Home is a feeling, not a place."

 

This is my quest to find that feeling called home.