Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Have you ever felt like your living just to survive? I've been taking pictures, trying to spark that of hope, of happiness I felt for a second back in September. Working on a roll of black and white film, its taking a min though I hope to be done with it by today.
My mother came home one day with not just one but TWO kittens!! I'm not really a cat person. I'd rather a dog, but there really cute I got to name one and I've never had kittens before so a different outlook is expected.
Did I mention that there both boys and basically identical
The one I named is the sleeping kitten August. I had just finished watching August Rush and its now my favorite movie!! The other kitten my mother named Busy, but she spells it differently, because he's always doing something!!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I'm not good with death...really I never now what to say
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I wanna laugh until I'm crying
I wanna smile for no reason
I wanna feel inspired all the time
I wanna make art that moves people, that changes people
I wanna be something greater then my surroundings
I wanna be HAPPY!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I like how these came out I'm going to buy some more film before they stop making it. =( I also need printer/scanner so I can upload the film photo's I plan on taking. I 've been taking photo's with my Fisheye camera. We'll see how they turn out.....hopefully Courtney will scan some more pictures for me! :smiles:
Thursday, October 23, 2008
What a way to wake up! Here I am on a Thursday morning When Mrs. Hussy sent me a link to go watch a video. I went and was angered that she sent me some to go see and hear something this terrible! All the while this heifer is "sing" she's walking around getting ready for something...and OMG this big...you know what hops on the table....Can we have a moment of silence for that table....because it died trying to hold her up! But hell it got its revenge in the end!!!
Video found HERE!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
I attended the Annual Gowanus Artists Studio Tour this weekend with my love Courtney, who doesn't know it but is now my exhibit/gallery/museum buddy =D, and Totally loved it!! There were so many different artists and so many different forms of art. Like one studio would have photography but another would have painting or drawing or ceramics the list is endless! It featured 150 Brooklyn artists at 28 locations and in just two days. It was Great! Stupendous even!
Seeing all the art(in so many different mediums) has left me wanting more. More chances to meet artists and view the passion. More chances to be inspired to try something different. On that note I mentioned, in the last post, that I want to start taking film photography again. I don't have a decent film camera right know but I do have one of those Polaroid instant film cameras and Fish Eye camera which is more like a toy but I'm going to try and make it work. I haven't had the chance to take or print any pictures from it and I've had it for a while. I'm gonna try and get them scanned after I print them so I can share them. Oh and the Polaroids I took this weekend are being scanned by Courtney so.....soon soon.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
but through all this I still feel a little hopeful.
i'm thinking about doing film photography
i'm finding hard to create.....
the type of photo's I want with my digital camera
film photo's fit my mood more......................
And Life Goes On.......
Thursday, October 9, 2008
October 1st I found out a girl I worked with was murdered.
Saying that she was murdered still feels like somethings punching me in my stomach. She was such a good kid. She was only a kid.
I've seen and dealt with lost before but this hurts like nothing I've ever felt. I think its because she was only 16 and I had just saw her a couple of days before....
I was Very disappointed in my "friends"....I felt like when I needed them the most of lot of people were no where to be found. I haven't picked up my camera in a week(which feels like forever too me) I just haven't felt like it. No worries though I'll bounce back...I feel like I am all ready!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
I suffered from depression when I was younger.
A while ago I had started a photo project called "The Pursuit". It was inspired by the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" with Will Smith. It was very moving..like seriously I had a hard time not crying! I plan on continuing my pursuit so that I never loss sight of my happiness. In a years time I'm going to have my first exhibit!! Watch me!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I watched as he sat on a crate, and as he scratched at his arm I knew exactly what he was doing.
I watched as he took off his shoes and slowly his head stared to nod, until his neck seemed unable to support it..and it finally fell on to his chest.
All the while I was watching him I felt sorry for him
I wondered what drove him to do this in the first place and why he just didn't stop.
He looked so lonely and broken sitting on the corner by him self.
That's what I think drugs do to a person......they break you and drive the people that care about you away...until your all alone.
The sad thing is this isn't my first time seeing somebody "shoot up" or get high.....and I have a feeling that it won't be my last.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Do you remember how people changed the way they treated other people?
It terrible that it took something so terrible to make people think about there actions.
My sympathy goes out to all that has lost someone on 9/11.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I was happy because I was going to see a friend of mine from my school
....a guy friend that I kinda have a crush on....:shrugs:
we hung out for a while went to 34th street after he got out of class.....then he had to work so I didn't get to spend that much time with him.
I have the bad habit of building people up in my head and when there not what I though they'd be.......I get disappointed and tend to lose interest in the person....I'm trying Very hard not to do that with him......
I like were his head is at.
Well after we separated I went to go see the bestie at her job, then made my way to 14th street.
On the way I had a slice of pizza for $1, which was yummy, I saw this two girls eating each others faces (a new experience) lol, I finally made it to 14th street went to Strand books and brought "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran. A very good book go buy it....or borrow it from the library.
That's all for know.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
I’m going through a very tuff time right now
It seems like I can only stay happy for a couple of hours before I remember all the shit that’s keeping me down. For one thing I would love to be in school right now but because of my mother I can’t be. A friend of mine asked me wasn’t I relieved to have some time off, to which I answered her Hell no! If the decision had been mine to not go back to school for a semester then fine, but I can’t go back because of something my mother didn’t do makes me highly upset!! I look around at all the people in my life and I feel like a failure….either they have some kind of degree already or there in school and all I’m doing is sitting on my ass. In September I will be out of one of my jobs. Until I find a new one I’m going be taking as many photo’s as possible! Photography has always been my way of cooping with my depression.
Random photo's I found in my computer just when I was thinking about giving up the one thing I love. Seriously photography is one of the best things I can do. Moving on. I found a new book that I love thanks to my friend Here (insert note: I find it funny that I call this girl my friend when we've never meet face to face....we've never even talked on that phone we've only comunicated via the computer.....aww the internet lol :end note)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
All I wanted to do was relax.
I was gonna rest and eat and rest some more.
That was until my mother decided to call me a piece of shit.
Now I'm sitting here in tears wondering what do I do...
If I think about it..she has called me worse
And I would ignore her...but this comment hurt...
........because it came from my mother.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Somethings I've had on my heart.
- I really don't know how to explain the thoughts and feelings I've been feeling over the summer. I've been SO confused about certain people and certain situation, all the while searching for peace of mind within myself.....
- I realized this weekend that I have to live for me. For so long I out others before myself to make them happy and then was upset when they didn't do the same for me.
- Its come to my attention just how hard it is for the black women. Through watching the things my moms has to go through and the things I see and go through myself.
- When your being asked to sacrifice, look first at what there sacrificing for you. Then ask your self how much Can you sacrifice for this person. Because some peopl just aren't worth it!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I love this song it most defiantly shows how I've been feeling. I don't know when I became a fan of India Arie but her music has a way of penetrating your soul! At times her songs can bring you to tears, other times you can find the words you were looking for to describe your feelings.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Now why did he ask me a couple of weeks later to be his girl??? Of course my answer was no. His reply to that was "fine I'm willing to wait around for what I want" Me "and what do you want" Him "a relationship...I like how I feel when I'm with you" Me "ummm" I mean I did like being in his company to. Sometime after this convo people started telling me to my face that they didn't want us together...I couldn't figure out why though...then one day he says its because of my mother.WTF! I should have realized then because this was his people saying this BS. But I didn't so I shouldn't have been surprised when he started acting stupid.
When I didn't pick up my phone right away he would whine. When I was to tired to hang out with him until 3am he would bitch. I should have left him alone then but now I wanted to be in a relationship with him. For some odd reason I thought I needed him. And I told him so, I also told him I felt he was being a jerk for bitching and moaning when I couldn't be with him every night until 3am, he agreed and we said we would give "us" a try. Then two days later he's saying it wont work but we can still be "friends" though. Little did I know that us being friends(In his mind) meant he was still allowed to put his head up my shirt and in between my legs anytime he wanted.
And I let him.......but the pleasure was temporary. He continued being a ass and I said Fuck it. I see now that he just wasn't good for me but it wasn't he is fault I let him treat me the way he did. He should me many times who he was, I didn't like what I saw but stayed with him anyway
There's this saying saying me Maya Angelou it goes something like "If someone shows you there true colors, believe them" Lesson learned.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I haven't been reading as much as I did when I was in h.s. Reading for me was away to escape my reality.....sinking in to the words of fantasy novels and creating another world around me no matter what situation i was in. In h.s. I read just about anything..mostly fiction and mostly fantasy. Fantasy novels are, in my opinion, positive. Most of the time there's is a good and evil force with the good triumphing over the evil. Take the Harry Potter books. In ever book Harry (the good force) fights Voldemort (the evil force) and in the end some how he always win. This books helped me out tremendously when ever something made me sad I picked up a book and my imagination did the rest.
Now a days I have little to no time to read and my mind is craving something a little more grown up. Something that makes me understand this world and its inhabitants more.
Any ideas??? I'm open to anything to try anything once.
Friday, July 4, 2008
I would have stole that....bike if it wasn't chained up! =D
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
"If you were falling, then I would catch you.You need a light, I'd find a match.
Listen to her here
I love C.O. Bigelow products this root beer flavored one is one of the first ones I owned. The thing I like most is there...breath freshening benefits, I mean who want to carry mints all the time? If your gonna buy one though I say get the Chocolate flavored one. Click here for more products.
This is the Best smelling perfume ever! I would gladly soak myself in this stuff until the lovely scent is attached to me like a second layer of skin!! Sephora sells this the flirty blend along with a whole bunch of other stuff. Click here.
That's it for now people but my obsession doesn't end here!!