Monday, August 4, 2008

I hope this doesn't become the story of my life

Through my life I've had a lot of boys (that like to call themselves men but that's another post) that were almost my boyfriend. Now I'm only 20 and I'm very bad when it comes to relationships(though I long to be in one, I'm never really comfortable when I'm in them) my mother says my communication skills are shitty I just think she doesn't listen(again another post). Its true what they say when your Not looking for love is when It finds you....or lake thereof. I was happily single sometime ago when I started talking to this "man". I call him a man because of his age(25) but the way he acted got him those " ". Now right away I told him I wasn't looking to be in a relationship, there stressful in my opinion, and we agreed to keep things light. People, aka bitches, didn't want us together anyways(I should have said fuck it when I realized then).

Now why did he ask me a couple of weeks later to be his girl??? Of course my answer was no. His reply to that was "fine I'm willing to wait around for what I want" Me "and what do you want" Him "a relationship...I like how I feel when I'm with you" Me "ummm" I mean I did like being in his company to. Sometime after this convo people started telling me to my face that they didn't want us together...I couldn't figure out why though...then one day he says its because of my mother.WTF! I should have realized then because this was his people saying this BS. But I didn't so I shouldn't have been surprised when he started acting stupid.

When I didn't pick up my phone right away he would whine. When I was to tired to hang out with him until 3am he would bitch. I should have left him alone then but now I wanted to be in a relationship with him. For some odd reason I thought I needed him. And I told him so, I also told him I felt he was being a jerk for bitching and moaning when I couldn't be with him every night until 3am, he agreed and we said we would give "us" a try. Then two days later he's saying it wont work but we can still be "friends" though. Little did I know that us being friends(In his mind) meant he was still allowed to put his head up my shirt and in between my legs anytime he wanted.

And I let him.......but the pleasure was temporary. He continued being a ass and I said Fuck it. I see now that he just wasn't good for me but it wasn't he is fault I let him treat me the way he did. He should me many times who he was, I didn't like what I saw but stayed with him anyway

There's this saying saying me Maya Angelou it goes something like "If someone shows you there true colors, believe them" Lesson learned.

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