Honesty

Being honest with yourself can be harder then trying to be honest with someone else. If I was being honest with myself I'd admit that this summer, this year really, hasn't gone the way I needed it to. Instead I'll keep lying to myself in the pretext that I'm holding on because things have to get better.

I feel like I'm always trying to force things to fit. Things like certain parts of my art, or the people in my life. I'm either trying to force something to fit or holding on to it for dear life. The problem I've found in that is with people while your trying to make everything fit the other person is off living there life. In art the problem is that while your trying to force something to fit, that isn't working for you any more(no matter what anyone else says or thinks they know) your just stopping your self from growing artistically. 

Its taken me until this point to understand that letting something go isn't the same as giving up.I'm tired of feeling disgruntled and sad because I'm not getting the results I want. Then feeling more tired and hurt from holding on and then totally defeated when I can't hold on any longer. Its a horrid cycle.

Someone said to me that everything I do today is a step towards my future. I fully agree. So it's up to me to take positive steps.