#28 Day Challenge

"I want to feel like a contender."

I read this post tonight. After reading her story I finally had a word to describe what happened to me. With every paragraph I read I said "I can totally relate". And the more I thought about it, it's happened to me more then I realized before.  I was assaulted.  So I wanted to share my story:

A friend of mine invited me to her friends birthday party in Queens. I said sure, but on the night of I was very tired. I went with her anyway because I said I would. I'd just like to say Queens is dumb far away and there's no point going there on the weekend. We got to the party and I was having an okay time considering I knew no one. I have a rule if I'm not surrounded by friends and very close to home, no hard drinking. So I got a beer and sipped it like it was fine wine.
As the evening went on a couple of guys came in and one in particular caught my attention right away. I was interested. He was interested. We spent some time talking and getting to know each other. He seemed totally fine to me at first sight/convo. But I love watching how people interact with other's when they think your not watching. So I watch how he spoke to my friend, and was very shocked to hear that she liked him, when he was being totally disrespectful. I then notice him refill his cup once, twice, and then again (later I would find out that he had been drinking since earlier in that day). And then he's words started to slur. And then he started to invade my personal space, he wouldn't stop touching me. He start touch me on my arms, then my knees, then my thighs. I kept telling him no and to stop and removing his hand, finally I moved away from him, and he presided to followed me.
At this point I told my friend I was ready to go home because this guy was making me uncomfortable. Before I could tell her what was going on she dismissed it and told me to be nice. I was hurt but I didn't want to make a seen and I knew she was having fun so I tried to be nice....
To make a long story short(er) this guy winds up kissing me full on the mouth. Then followed me out of the party onto a train all the way into Brooklyn.

 After this happened to me I placed all of the blame on myself. I told myself it was my fault because I went out. It was my fault because I didn't leave right away. It was my fault because I showed interest in him. But this isn't the first time where I've been assaulted. And what would warrant being followed home from Manhattan into Brooklyn, the being called a Bitch when I said I wasn't giving out my number.? What would make a guy grab my ass on a crowded train in such a sly way that I wasn't even sure it happened? I can go on, but my point is what I've learned is that no matter what you dress like someone is always going to try and make you feel less. Some one is always going to try and find a way to make it seem like you are asking for it.

And that's where this challenge comes in. I'm 24 and I have never been more then 98lbs. And though I feel like I'm perfect, and gorgeous *whips hair I don't like feeling weak. I may never be able to tear the next fools limbs off his body, but I want to feel like I can do some damage. I want to feel like a contender. So I'm starting small steps to get me there. Step One: 28 days  of working out 3 times per week for 15mins.

I'd love for some company on this journey. I'd also love to here from anyone that can relate to these stories. Mine and hers.