Tuesday, October 4, 2011

How art is saving my life AND putting me in debt.

"Oh, you want to be an artist? There's no money in that!"

If you've decided to follow your heart and make art to support yourself then you've probably heard that statement before. I sure have! I don't let it sway me though. I feel like I don't really have a choose in the matter.
I've had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. I ignored them(and everyone else around me did also) until 7th grade when I had my first panic attack. In high school I was homeless for a year, I then spent that next year in bed. At the end of that year the only thing that got me out of my bed was this desire to make something...anything...that I could touch..something that I was proud of...something no on else could make.
When people tell me I'm not going to make alot of money being an artist I always tell them "but I'll be happy". And in my head I add "and I'll never have to take anti-depressants!"

But lets honest a budding artist's income is small. No, no it's non-existent!
That would be fine if I wasn't a girl that LOVED to eat(and shop)! Not that you'd know it by looking at me. I recently went to the doctor and found out that I had lost some weight. I was pissed but not surprised. I took a week off work to focus on my portfolio which meant less money on payday.
I don't mind having less money but I hate being hungry. I think it's one of those things that happens when you grow up without enough food to go around. This past week I've been using my credit card to feed myself. I'm trying to be grown up about it. You know buy things to make meals instead of buying out, and all that jazz. It's very hard though.
I feel like to become better in my craft I need to practice. But while practicing I feel like I'm going without. Has anyone else felt(or feel) this way, or am I being a baby?
A la prochaine!

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